Bionic Action Hero/Transcript
This is a transcript of the episode Bionic Action Hero. It's still under construction. Transcript (Douglas walks in, holding his cellphone) Douglas: 'Guess who I just got off the phone with? ''(points at his cellphone) Giselle Vickers. '''Bree: '''The big Hollywood filmmaker? '''Leo: '''She is legendary! She made all the killer zombie trucker movies. Because of her, I can't be at a truck stop. '''Douglas: '''That's right. And get this. Her next blockbuster is going to be called Bionic Action Hero. '''Adam: '''Awesome! What's it about? '''Douglas: '''A Bionic Action Hero. '''Adam: Huh. Save your money sounds like a flop. Chase: '''Woah Woah Woah! The same person who makes those lame zombie movies are going to make our movie? ''(Scoffs) ''No way! '''Leo: ''(Angrily)'' '''Must you ruin everything?! '''Douglas: '''Relax, Chase. Giselle's an old college friend. We spent a lot of time in the robotics lab together before she switched careers. We even dated a bit. '''Bree: '''What happened? '''Douglas: '''Sometimes people grow apart. '''Bree: '''She dumped you didn't she? '''Douglas: '''Worst day of my life! And I've been to prison 4 times! Anyways, she wants the film to portray bionics accurately, so she's coming over here to research with the actor that's playing you guys. '''Chase: '''I think you mean actors. '''Douglas: No. In the film there aren't 3 bionic superhumans. To simplify it there's just one with all your abilities. Bree: 'So who's the actor? '''Adam: '''Oh, I bet it's Dami Judi Dench.(imitates her with a bad British accent'') Look at me, I'm bionic! 'Douglas: '''No, it's some new up-and-comer Troy West. '''Chase: '''Oh, so they're just gonna throw some rookie in the leading role? I don't ant any part in this. '''Bree: '''You know, I hate to say it, but I agree with Chase. You only have one chance to have your live turned into a movie. It should be done right. '''Leo:'' '''Exactly. So who's playing me? Denzal, Will Smith? Oh who am I kidding? Those guys can't bring the Dooley. '''Douglas: '''Sorry Leo. There is no character based on you. '''Leo: '''What? '''Douglas: It's called Bionic Action Hero, not kind of Bionic sort of Action Hero. Adam: 'Look, if they want someone to play Bionic Action Hero, Why don't they use me? I'm an actor. I starred in a school play. '''Bree: '''You had one line. And you forgot it. '''Adam: '''Just because it's in the script doesn't mean you have to say it. Plus i can do my own stunts. The guy who played Superman can't stop a real locomotive, but I can. '''Chase: '''Oh, yeah? Well, the hydra loop is closing. I bet you can't stop that. ''(Hydra loop closes and Adam runs and closes it with his arm) 'Adam: '''Hah! I did it. '''Chase: '''Uh- uh. You stopped the doors, but you didn't stop the hydra loop. ''(pushes button) 'Adam: '(Screams) Did it stop? (theme song plays) (Next Scene. Douglas walks in) '''Douglas: '''Is everybody ready? Troy and Giselle will be here any minute. '''Bree: '''You seem kind of nervous. If i didn't know any better, I'd think you you were trying to get your old girlfriend back. '''Douglas: '''That's ridiculous. How's my hair? Too spiky, not enough spike? Just the right amount of spike? '''Bree: '''Never mind the spike. what are you going to do about the grays? '''Douglas: Grays?! (Hydra loop opens. Troy and Giselle walk out.) Troy: '''Whoa. look at this place. '''Douglas: '''Hey, Troy. Welcome to the Bionic Academy. '''Troy: '''Thanks I'm really happy-- ''(Douglas walks towards Giselle) '' '''Douglas: '''Giselle. '''Giselle: (Giselle shakes Douglas' hand) ''Douglas nice to see you. Still rockin' the same old spikes, huh? '''Douglas:' I can change. What do you like? Side part, middle part, mullet? Giselle: '''Hi I'm Giselle. So honored to be telling your story. And this is Troy West, the actor who will be playing you in the movie. '''Bree: ''(Waves in a flirty tone)'' 'Hi. '''Troy: '''What's up guys? It's really nice to meet you. '''Adam: '''Ah, I get it now. You got my body, Bree's hair, but I'm not seeing the Chase. He's perfect. '''Chase: '''Oh, come on. You seriously buy that this guy's bionic? I mean, compared to me-- '''Adam: '''Dude, you really don't wanna go there. '''Troy: '''Hey, thanks for letting us come here to do our research. I can't believe I'm actually standing here with three bionic heroes. '''Bree: '''I'm not seeing anyone. Uh... that's not normally what I lead with, but I'm not seeing anyone. '''Giselle: '''We won't get in your way. I'm just here to check out the academy so I can make the movie as real as possible. '''Troy: '''And I'm just here to learn about your bionics so my performance will feel authentic. '''Adam: '''Ah, totally get where you're coming from, Troy. I'm a big-time actor myself. '''Troy: '''Really? Movies? '''Adam: '''Uh, school plays. But, I did see a mom filming it on her phone, so it's only a matter of time before it hits theaters. '''Troy: '...I see... So what did you feel was the key to your character's inner life? 'Adam: '''Oh, I got to wear a cowboy hat, and ride a wooden pony. '''Chase: '''And that's all you need to know about Adam. '''Leo: '''Why, hello. You must be Giselle. I'm Leo, the fourth and most important member of the team. '''Giselle: '''Of course, I know all about you Leo. '''Leo: '''Then you also know that my fascinating life would make a fantastic sequel. Or we can just forget about the little cocktail weenies, and focus on the main course. Me. '''Douglas: '''Why... don't you guys go show Troy some bionic moves? That'll give Giselle a chance to walk around this place, and remember how adorable I am. '''Giselle: '''Heh... we are going to be walking for a very long time. '... Adam: 'So you really think you have what it takes to be a bionic superhero?Now the T-shirts, they would say, "Leo Dooley's bionic army." Get it? Army. 'Cause I have a bionic arm. '''Troy: '''I hope so. Hey, I've been training really hard. Check this out. It's one of Chase's abilities. '''Chase: '''What was that? '''Troy: '''It was your bionic eye scan. Hey, don't worry. Once they add some special effects, it'll look really cool. '''Chase: '''No, it won't, 'cause you're doing it wrong. It goes like this. '''Troy: '''Oh, thanks, man. Yeah, no, I totally get how that's different. '''Bree: '''Okay, so now who's helping out with the cheesy movie? '''Chase: '''I am not helping, I am critiquing his mediocre performance. '... Leo: '''Now the T-shirts, they would say 'Leo Dooley's bionic army'. Get it? Army because I have a bionic arm? '''Douglas: '''Leo, would you please give this lovely woman her space? '''Leo: If you need someone to write me into the script, I am your man, I'm a born typist. Best hunt and pecker in the business. Thirteen words a minute. I also direct. Douglas: '''That kid. He would do anything to impress you. You know, Giselle, it's too bad that you couldn't see all the other brilliant things that I created outside of here. You could make a whole movie just about Marcus. '''Giselle: Marcus. Douglas: '''My greatest invention. An advanced android with all of Adam, Bree, and Chase's bionic abilities. Believe it or not, he was even more powerful then they are. '''Giselle: '''Well where is he? I'd love to see him. '''Douglas: '''You can see parts of him. They're buried in a huge pile of rubble in my old lair. '''Giselle: '''I'm sorry. Your lair? '''Douglas: '''Yeah. Technically, it's a suburban basement, but by law, you have to call it a lair if you use it to torture people. ... '''Troy: '''That is so cool. '''Bree: '''Well if you like that ability, you're really gonna' like my...... Invisibility App. '''Troy: No way. How did you do that? Bree: '''It's not...... that...... hard. '''Troy: '''Awesome. Uh... Thanks for helping me out. '''Bree: '''Sure. '''Troy: I just wish Chase was as open about your abilities as you are. Bree: '''Don't take it personally, he's just really protective of his image. '''Troy: '''He does know that on the fan boards, they call him the Bionic Fun Killer. '''Bree: '''Yeah, but to be fair, most of these posts were from me. '''Troy: '''The thing is...... I'm running out of time. I have to figure 'em out. If I don't, Giselle might fire me...... And I don't wanna' lose this role. '''Bree: '''Maybe I can help, what do you need? '''Troy: '''I don't know, stuff like uh...... how his chip was designed and where his super intelligence comes from. All the things that make him the smartest person in the world. '''Bree: '''Sorry, but I know what makes him the most annoying person in the world. Hey, I mean if all you need is a bionic owners manual, we can access Mr. Davenport's files from here. '''Troy: '''Really? Uh... yeah, that would be great. '''Bree: I mean, it's just some boring schematics and formulas but...... here you go. Everything you need to know about Chase's chip. Troy: '''Thanks Bree. '''Bree: '''You're pretty. '''Troy: '''I know. 'Bree: '''So uh... now that we're done working, do you want to go to the pool? '''Troy: '''Sure, lemme' just go and change. '''Bree: '''Don't be too long...... I mean....... take your time. I'm not desperate! ... '''Troy: '''Mission accomplished. Here it is. '''Giselle: '''Perfect. Now we can finally take them out and rid the world of bionic humans forever. '... Giselle: '''I'm so glad you guys can come by the stage and watch us film. '''Douglas: '''Just so you know...... I tried keeping the hair flat but it won't stay that way. '''Giselle: '''And this is our Hollywood version of the Bionic Academy. '''Leo: '''Looks awesome. '''Chase: '''No, it doesn't. The walls look fake, the floor looks fake, nothing in here looks like the real academy! '''Bree: But your complaining is very authentic. Giselle: '''Ugh, I gotta' take this call for my other movie Killer Zombie Orthodontist. '''Leo: '''Orthodontist? '''Giselle: Yeah, I know...... we're pretty much out of ideas. Bree: 'Hey Troy. '''Troy: '''Oh, hey. '''Bree: '''Hey, Uh... so... what happened? You said that you'd meet me at the pool but then...... you left me out there without saying goodbye. '''Troy: '''What can I say? I'm not much of a water person. '''Giselle: '''Great news... since you were also helpful, I'm putting you in the scene that we're about to shoot. '''Bree: '''You want ''us ''to be in the movie? '''Giselle: '''Yup. But instead of playing bionic heroes, you get to play the bad guys. What do you think? '''Leo: '''I think Leo Dooley better have a line. '''Chase: '''We're going to be in the movie, we're going to be in the movie, we're going to be in the movie! '''Douglas: '''Oh, so now you're on board. '''Chase: '''Hey, Troy starring in a bionic movie...... Lame...... Me...... Starring in a bionic movie, awesome! '''Giselle: '''Great! So then it's all settled... uh, any questions? '''Adam: '''Just One. What time would this be on tonight? '... Chase: '''This is so cool. I finally get to play a bad guy. Chase Davenport, international bad boy... '''Leo: '''Settle down bad boy, your mascara's running. '''Bree: I don't get it. Troy wouldn't even talk to me, it's so weird. Adam: '''Not really. Boys blow you off all the time. '''Bree: '''What if he's got another girl on set? '''Douglas: '''So what? You just met the guy. '''Bree: '''We had a connection! I'm not crazy! Okay, all I'm saying is that if he is seeing someone else, I need to know about it so I can go sabotage it! '''Douglas: '''Girls. Always going to that desperate place. I hope Giselle's not seeing someone else. ... '''Bree: '''Troy? Self-absorbed much? Wow... Even his pictures smell good. Aha, let's go see who Mr. Popular is getting messages from. '''Giselle: '''This won't take long. '''Troy: '''Hurry up. I gotta' be on set. '''Giselle: '''This is what I wanted to show you. I finally finished analyzing Chase's chip schematics. '''Troy: Then we're good. Giselle: '''As soon as they're ready to film, we'll do it. '''Troy: Oh, my pictures! Help me! Giselle: 'Come on, let's get outta here. '''Troy: '''I think I need more pictures of me. ... '''Giselle: '''Okay. Everybody, we're about to start filming. Positions please. '''Troy: '''Where's Bree? '''Giselle: '''We'll take care of her later. Just make sure you use the real weapon on them. '''Troy: '''My pleasure. '''Giselle: '''Okay, just like we rehearsed. Douglas, you and the kids will say your lines, then Troy will shoot you. Lights. Camera. Action! '''Douglas: '''Any sign of the bionic superhuman? '''Chase: '''I think we lost him! '''Adam: '''Told you...... we'd get away with it. ' ''' '''Leo: '''Great work! Everyone. '''Troy: I agree. Thanks for making it so easy. '''Douglas: '''No! What are you doing? '''Chase: '''You just ruined the scene! '''Leo: '''And my take was perfect. '''Bree: '''This is all a trap! Giselle lured us here so that Troy could take us out with this. '''Chase: '''Bree, that's just a prop. '''Bree: '''Really? '''Leo: '''Woah, what just happened? '''Adam: '''Wait! I'm lost. Are we still doing the scene? '''Bree: '''No! This isn't even a real movie! Category:Transcripts Category:Unfinished Transcripts Category:Season 4 Transcripts Category:Season 4